The Two Sides of A Coin: “Stalking”

Heads

The inception of “Stalking”: It began with a click and manifested in a framework of connections

Dear Diary,

What do I see when I look in the mirror? I see myself (obviously), but it is deeper than that, I see someone who isn’t ashamed to own up to what I do in my free time, amongst other things, I see a “stalker”. To be fair, when I look in the mirror, all I really notice is how I look, but that would detract from the dramatic beginning of this entry.

I know, that whether its Instagram or Facebook, one photo could lead me on a downward spiral through all of someone’s pictures. I literally start at 2014, one more picture I say, one more I convince myself as I find myself analyzing pictures and comments from 2009. Plus occasionally accidentally liking a trap’s picture from 2 years ago, then all I want to do its delete my account and set my computer on fire but, I won’t obviously. You honestly can’t make someone love you; you can just do some Internet research and hope for the best. I don’t know why I do this, maybe I have too much free time on my hands, but I think its an enticing act that grips me in its claws and refuses to let go till I’ve satisfied the essence of its being…that’s a bit much :/. Interesting to see how people have transformed over the years. I mean liking photos where people’s comments hv u wonderin wat dey wer thinkin and the photos themselves have people trying to determine what curse had been placed on the picture’s owner to push them to such fashion tragedies can only bring out the best of laughs. I must confess that I have untag myself from one picture too many.

But, sometimes my “stalking” is to support a cause far greater than my being, a cause that ensures that we are indeed in a global village, a cause rooted in familiarity aka “famz”. I have to analyze the profiles of potential crushes and those of my friends’ as well. To be fair, we do it together. This is not limited to the previously mentioned groups, honestly, all I need is a like on my picture or a casual introduction through a mutual friend and a practical investigation would have to be initiated to establish the much needed “famz” framework. You have to know what you’re getting into if you seriously want to make an effort, if not, you can always admire from afar. Insta-celebrity crushes aren’t a new thing, and to be an insta-celebrity, you have to facilitate and maximize on the stalking tendencies of the population.

I “stalk” because it is fun living on the edge, constantly in fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I’ve stalked you on the internet, stumbling on the occasional thirst trap while admiring and learning from afar.

In other words, my name is Taye and I’m a “Social Media Analyst” “Stalkaholic.”

Tails

“Stalking”: The greatest injustice against one’s self

And sometimes you’ll remember your inadequacies, and try as you must, you can’t stop, you won’t stop.

Dear Aduke,

How are you today? I do hope you are well, as you see, unfortunately, I have not heard from you in ages. Allow me to join the numerous people who crave your association on this fine innovation that is email.

Loyally yours,

Taye

Dear Taye,

Hey qt…lol gauge my English

When did you start typing like this? I’m quite confused

In other news, how are you?

Perplexedly yours,

Aduke

Dear Aduke

Ah my dear friend! You’ve obliged my request! Haha I was hoping that you would comment on it. I fail to understand it myself. I have a hunch that I’m still in the “writing zone.” You see, I’m working on an editorial and as such I’ve been like this of late.

However, to be fair, I can’t entirely attribute my solemn attitude to the editorial. This is how I type when I’m not my usual self. Don’t get me wrong, it has nothing to do with you and I don’t want to bore you with details. However, I am faced with no choice but to share my predicament, as I need to speak with you, as I haven’t in a while.

What was Zara thinking when she posted that picture? Like honestly, have her tribal marks started to affect her brain?Irritated,

Taye

Dear Taye,

I’m confused, what picture are you talking about? The one she just posted? What’s wrong with it?

Confusedly yours,

Aduke

Dear Aduke

If you can’t see what’s wrong with it, then I can’t help you. You obviously cannot share my grievances. Nevertheless, I will indulge you. This may seem trivial but to be fair, it isn’t. Why would she wear that knowing that she is, you know larger than life.

Stalkingly yours,

Taye

Dear Taye,

I apologize for the inconvenience that stalking has afforded you, because you are indeed a bonafide “stalkaholic”. You always go from Facebook to instagram, from profile to profile determined to find faults in all the pictures that you analyze. The truth hurts my friend, but you seem a bit insecure as I can’t understand why you spend your time comparing and analyzing people’s pictures; pounding on their supposed faults. You know so much about their lives, however, I doubt they even know your name. Am I harsh with my words? Am I right or nah?

Brutally honest,

Aduke

Dear Aduke,

I have chosen to share my secret with you. I must admit, maybe I am a tad bit insecure, maybe. With each “amazing” instagram profile that I stumble across, I may or may not underrate myself, you know, view myself as lacking in various areas. Not because I had a choice, but because I had no hand in your creation. In fact, lets reverse roles! What would you do if you were in my position? Serious practical advice only. Are you harsh? YES.

Guilty as charged,

Taye

Dear Taye,

I refuse to dish out the same glorified advice “Keep your head up and you’ll be fine.” because I know it won’t work. “Sit down and find yourself, know your worth and note that comparison is the greatest injustice against one’s self.” There will always be someone smarter than you, more good looking than you, funnier than you, the list goes on, but constantly observing these people would do you no good especially at this time of insecurity. I guess the greater problem stems from the fact that you can’t observe someone without feeling inferior, sometimes instead of realizing where or what you’re lacking, appreciate the skill, the beauty, the hard work that has been bestowed on these people. Not every time compare, sometimes just appreciate.

I hope this helps,

Aduke

Dear Aduke,

I read your words, and a glimmer of hope starts to gain momentum. I must admit I have far greater grievances when it comes to stalking and seeing as you’ve been quite open to my inadequacies, I feel obliged to share. You see, in an attempt to lessen my feelings of inferiority after stumbling on a picture, I scrutinize it. I scrutinize it until I can find a fault in the person through the photo. A big nose, a missing hairline, a crooked smile, anything that could keep my insecurities at bay and make me feel like I am worthy to be compared to that person. Given an opportunity to converse about the person. I strike the person down with my words. I want others to see that person through my scrutinizing eyes, so I can shine. I know its quite an unfortunate state that I have found myself in, but try as I might, I cannot help it.

Saltily yours,

Taye

Dear Taye,

You refuse to help it or you can’t help it. It is indeed a problem that you feel obligated to bring others down. You judge a person because of what you see and are quick to share your opinions. You convey fictitious rhetoric based on your spite for their “success” to shame others. I do not intend to multiply your worries but I want you to realize that you need to be so busy watering your own grass that you can’t notice if someone else’s is greener. No disrespect to your “stalkees”, but you can’t tell what goes on in their lives. You may think the grass is greener on the other side because sometimes it’s fertilized with rubbish. However, I’m not sway, I don’t have all the answers, Kanye West.

P.S: Remember, the appreciation of someone’s gifts, doesn’t detract from your own greatness.

Just saying you could do better,

Aduke

Giddy Times,

Chichi!

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